'Paindoo' Logic: PML-M: Oath or
Funeral: The New Mian
LampPost
ISLAMABAD: When a newly inducted MNA from the heart of Punjab,
a young and bright American graduate, was asked about the restoration
of Parliament and the controversy 
over
the LFO, his answer in folksy "paindoo" jargon was:
"After the robbery, we have recovered some of the stolen
goods today but more importantly we have identified the robbers,
we know their address and all the goods will be recovered in due
course of time."
The
recovered goods he mentioned were the parts of the Constitution
revived a day earlier, the oath by new members, revival of political
activity and a return to half-hearted democratic rule, though
deeply flawed and conditional. The identification of the robbers
was an obvious reference to the Generals and President Musharraf
who had just a few hours ago gathered all those who matter at
a ceremony to reaffirm to them that he was still in control. But
none of the faces at the ceremony showed any real excitement,
including the many top Generals sitting in a line.
LampPost
noticed the expressions of the bodyguard behind General Musharraf
while the oath taking was going on. This military man dressed
in a red uniform, looked scared, with red eyes and harried face,
as if something would happen to him and not the President. On
TV screen, he was sending more exciting vibes than the President
and his collaborator, the Chief Justice of Pakistan.
Why
was it that no one was happy at the oath-taking of the President
as compared to the swearing in across the building where desk
thumping was the first collective effort the newly elected members
had learnt to perform, without training. One obvious explanation
was that in the presidential ceremony every other General felt
Musharraf was stealing his right and chance to be the next army
chief or even become a General.
His
cabinet sitting there was mourning the loss of its hey days. Judges
were thinking about what justification they would give when they
declared the LFO as unconstitutional in the coming weeks and months.
Diplomats were not sure what different it would make for a president
for life to be sworn in as president for five years after he was
sworn in last year as president for ever.
So
everybody was so busy in his/her thoughts they forgot to cheer
and congratulate the not-so-new head of state for another extension,
which frankly no one knew how long it may last. No one was ready
to risk wishing the President a happy full term.
And
a confused and aging Laiq Ahmed, the TV compere, could find no
words to describe what the new oath meant. With his thoughts scattered
and nothing to talk about he started praising the economy and
the high foreign exchange reserves. What had these to do with
the new oath was inexplicable but Laiq Ahmed had something to
say as he could not possibly tell his audience that every body
was so quiet and serious, as if no one believed the oath was real.
He could not say ceremony looked like a Funeral. The national
anthem saved them all, as always it is the last thing to be played
before a party is over.
In
sharp contrast in the Press Gallery of the NA it was a rare sight
to see so many beards gathered in one place except the non-political
Raiwind. But all these beards were now the balancing factor of
the political game and even the General sitting across in the
Presidential Palace were worried about what to do with them and
how to explain to Uncle Sam where from these bearded brigades
had descended.
But
while the new MNAs were celebrating, there was talk in some circles
that the Big Mush was also making his own political plans and
once he gets a deal with the MMA and the defectors of PPP, and
his actions are validated by a 2/3rd majority, he may quit the
army and formally become the President of the PML-Q. Will it then
become PML-M, is not known.
An
Indian politician has, however, already given Mush the title of
Mian Musharraf. Gujarat’s Nirendra Modi, now on his election
campaign trail had this to say at one stop: “While we are
on the Gaurav Yatra, the Congress is on a Dollar Yatra. Mian Musharraf
went to the US; so did Congress MLAs. Pakistan is trying to interfere
in Gujarat; the Congress is dancing to its tune. The Congress
here is the new avatar of the Muslim League."
Modi
is presenting his voters with a choice George Bush gave to the
world: “You are either with Modi or with terrorists/Mian
Musharraf?” It is yet to be seen how successful this line
is with Indian voters.
The
real Asif Zardari was out of jail last week and meeting people
in a manner which reminded 
the
LampPost of late General Zia’s double handshake and triple
hug. But Asif was also looking somewhat like Zia because of his
dark eye hollows and a similar moustache. In
another corner of the country, another gentleman was almost being
given the same respect as Asif was during his days of power. This
fellow is the husband of a sweet little doll from Balochistan,
hoping and praying to be the new Prime Minister, Zobaida Jalal.
She already has several million dollars in her NGO from USAID
funds.
LampPost
was confronted by a close associate of Sardar Farooq Leghari on
the issue of another cabinet Minister of Musharraf, Javed Ashraf
Qazi of the Siddiq ul Farooq beating and BBC vulgarities fame.
This associate of Leghari sent in a list of questions to be asked
from Farooq Leghari. These questions are:
-
On what grounds he, as President of Pakistan, refused to make
Javed Qazi as COAS of Pak Army, when he was Corps Commander of
Gujranwala. Is it not that he failed to meet the moral standards?
Qazi is said to claimed in front of this associate, quoting Benazir
Bhutto, that she had promised him in Holy Ka’aba to make
him the COAS?
-
How many residential plots were detected by the forces of Leghari
which were procured from ex-CDA Chairman?
-
Why he cheated his "mohsin" (benefactor) Benazir and
joined the Leghari Camp during the last days of Benazir?
-
Why some diplomats hated him but could say or do nothing against
him?
-
Can you give us the detailed list of his properties amassed during
his career, which was provided to you during your president ship?
These
questions have to be put to Sardar Farooq Leghari by any one and
the answers would be interesting to all, LampPost is certain.
Over
to Peshawar, where another huge drama has been going on in the
Accountability Bureau. The NAB chief in NWFP, an Air Vice Marshal
Zee has been removed from the job and has been prematurely retired
from service. This has been done after Lockers of his brother-in-law
and mother were unearthed in Multan and nothing less than Rs.
320 million were recovered. The brother in law and the mother
told investigators that the lockers belonged to the AVM. The brother-in-law
is now in jail and the recovered amount stands confiscated. The
sad part of the story is that instead of arresting the honorable
AVM, he was honorably retired, though prematurely.
All
this happened after an in house tussle for graft money intensified
in the NAB Head Quarters in Peshawar. All the Majors, Colonels
and the Brigadier were transferred out after their deeds came
to the surface. One of them, Major Bee revealed the secrets of
the AVM who was finally netted.
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